Monday, January 24, 2011

When you live in Washington you take the sun when you can find it. On this particular day in January the sun came out first thing in the morning never to be seen again that day.

And that is how the small joys in life often come to us, fleeting, and if we aren't paying attention, they are gone in a heartbeat.  When life deals you periods where grief seems all encompassing it is especially important to find those little bits of joy and sunshine and hang on tight,
because those are what will help bring you through the darkness and back into the light.

 The name of my blog is French and means "joy of life," and despite all of life's difficult seasons I really want to find those moments of joy in life. I want to deliberately choose not to stay in those painful places longer than is necessary to heal. I want to revel in being part of the plans that God has for me.
Joy may come in forms that we don't always recognize. It can be seen in: the unadulterated  laughter of a child playing a simple game of Peek-A-Boo, the discovery of the first flower of spring, in hearing a favorite song on your iPod, in the random smile of a stranger, in a compliment, in a job well done, and sometimes it may be something as simple as that first cup of coffee in the morning. You never know what form joy will take but one thing is certain, if you aren't looking for it you probably won't find it.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Relinquishing the Past
On the day that you give birth to your child there are no future peaks into the future, no way for you to comprehend the joy of watching them grow into adulthood and the painful wrench of watching them spread their wings and fly. It is, of course, the point of all your hard work and yet somehow, it comes upon you out of nowhere and you find yourself completely unprepared and incredibly sad.
I have had the amazing  privilege of having both of my daughters live at home until their wedding day and it has been the delight of my heart.
Now I have come to this new place in life and when it came combined with the loss of my mom I find myself not knowing exactly how to deal with it or if  even want to.
Somehow it seems like it would be easier to brush it all aside and move on, which is incredibly easy to do when school is so intense. It reminds me of the old Carly Simon song, "I haven't got time for the pain..."

Just so it is clear, I am thrilled for my baby girl to be fulfilling her God-given destiny with the man God planned for her in His infinitely tender way; there are just times where it takes my breath away to realize that she won't ever come walking through my door the way she did when  she lived here.

I know that with time acceptance will come, I just have to ride out the storm.

Meanwhile, enjoy the picture from the day she became Carlie-Rose Danielle Chrystella Geneva Scarbrough Madrid.